Pop culture literature tells us men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and while that may not exactly be true, there is something to be said about how different genders communicate in the workplace and how this impacts our day-to-day.

Think back to your childhood. What if I told you the differences between how men and women communicate are learned at a very young age while playing on the playground? Here is where we learn what is called a linguistic style—a set of culturally learned signals that refers to a person’s speaking style or pattern. Our linguistic styles include features such as directness, pacing, pausing, and word choice. It also includes elements such as hand gestures, telling jokes, stories, and figures of speech. For example, I use my hands a lot when I speak. This is very much a testament to my linguistic style. Here’s the thing: both boys and girls find ways to create rapport and negotiate status, however they do it differently. Girls tend to lean towards building rapport within their relationships, and, at a young age, usually have a small, tight-knit group of friends to whom they speak closely and lean in. Boys learn rituals that focus on status dimension; they tend to play in large groups and are very much focused on positioning themselves in a hierarchal social order above one another. Now, it’s not to say all boys and girls fall into these categories, however research emphasizes that for the most part, this trend is followed and transfers through adolescence, adulthood, and into the workplace.

So, consider this as a starting point in recognizing how men and women have the tendency to communicate differently in the workplace. In a general sense, if one gender is focused on rapport and the other on hierarchy, that can be challenging. As part of degree requirements for my PhD, I combined the areas of gender, communication styles, and the differences between men and women in hopes of generating new knowledge that would have business professionals more aware of how their communication has impact. (The study and this article are based on the female and male genders, however, recognize gender is on a spectrum and there are other genders individuals may identify with.) By interviewing both male and female business professionals in the Twin Cities, it became apparent how gender communication, communication styles, and personality traits contribute to workplace communication and how traditional qualities play a role in our working relationships.

Based on the findings, here are some gender differences in how males and females communicate:

• Women tend to be more vocal and emotionally wired in their communication whereas men are perceived to be more direct, factual, and action-oriented in their language.
• Men are competitive in their use of language while women are more relationship oriented.
• Men use a lower voice, have open body language, and lack eye contact whereas women have higher-pitched voices and use direct eye contact.
• Women can be hesitant to lead or weigh in on conversations, whereas men take no issue to lead and say how it is.

According to research, men focus on an independent communication style where the primary means of establishing status is to tell others what to do and taking orders is marker of low status. Again, this is based on social influence and behavior learned at a young age. Women tend to align more with an intimate communication style where individuals negotiate complex networks of friendship, minimize differences, try to reach consensus, and avoid superiority. Women think in terms of support/closeness based on social influence and behavior learned at a young age.

My goal within my PhD study was to poke holes in important conversations in hopes that business professionals would consider the impact gender communication has on the workplace and adjust their styles to communicate more effectively. I’m sure we all have experienced different challenges when it comes to gender and workplace communication. And we know when professionals don’t communicate effectively or understand each other’s styles and personality traits, challenges arise and overall productivity decreases.

So how do we make sure we understand the impact gender communication has on the workplace?

Build awareness. By being aware of gender and differences in communication styles, business professionals are more productive, accountable, cohesive, and connected. Know these differences exist and position yourself in a way that allows communication to flourish amongst all genders.

Combat stereotypes. When we think about gender differences, it’s important to combat stereotypes and make sure we aren’t diminishing the social standing of any one gender. We can’t put all men in a masculine box and all women in a feminine box because it confines people to achievement only in association with a particular attribute or disposition. Recognizing different genders communicate and contribute in meaningful ways leads to a better workplace environment—ultimately improving employee engagement, culture, and productivity.

Create a culture of equality.  The recent TCB Talks: Women in Leadership event and the results of St. Catherine University’s 2023 Minnesota Census of Women in Corporate Leadership confirmed gender parity is a long way off. That said, it’s important to recognize this conversation is a priority across many industries, and we are continuing the conversations about the imperative role gender differences play in the workplace. This has great significance when we think about creating a culture of equality.

When recognizing the important role gender communication has and making communication in the workplace a priority, it positively impacts business operations, team performance and allows organizations to thrive and have impact in an equal way.

*The study and article are based on the female and male gender, however, recognize gender is on a spectrum and there are other genders individuals may identify with.

Dr. Amelia Reigstad, PhD is a speaker, facilitator and author with a passion and love for knowledge. With over two decades of industry experience, she enjoys sharing her expertise across a variety of industries and has designed training programs, facilitated workshops, and led team members to success. As a Twin Cities Business Notable Women Entrepreneur 2022 and founder of The Women Empowerment Series, she inspires and encourages women to use their voice to initiate change through authentic communication.

To learn more about gender differences in communication, read this piece from TCB columnist Linda L. Holstein.