When the Dream Job Is Not So Dreamy
When I was in my 20s, I discovered a great passion of mine: The Spa Visit. What began as the occasional facial or massage became multiday excursions to destination spas throughout the country. By the time I reached my 30s, I was a local spa expert.
I loved the experience so much, I decided I should open my own spa. I had so many opinions from my experiences, I was confident I could open a very popular spot right here in Minneapolis. I decided to do some due diligence and spent time with a spa owner. I figured I should see what life is like on the “other side.” I quickly discovered that life as an owner is nothing like it is as a client. The owner’s days consisted of hiring, addressing HR issues, and dealing with leases and building issues. There were certainly some great interactions with clients and staff, but I learned that for the time being, I am a spa-goer, not a spa owner.
Have you ever dreamed of a specific job/role or working for that one great company? And then it happens and it’s, well … not a dream? What do you do when your dream job is not what you hoped for? Here are some steps to consider and questions to ask:
Define the specific attributes that got you excited about the job/company. “Dream jobs” often emerge from a passion we have for a cause, product, service, or title. Get clear on the attributes that drew you to the role and prioritize them.
Questions to help you uncover critical attributes:
- What made me think the organization would be a dream for me—was it the culture, boss, client, team?
- What work did I want to do, and am I doing that work?
- What was I looking for in the company or position?
- Who did I listen to when I sought feedback on the company/role? Do their values align with mine?
- Are there things that are important to me that I do not want to admit or did not share? Examples could include working for a big-name company, title, money, perks (traveling first class, tickets to sports events). You don’t have to share these things with the world, but you do need to be honest with yourself.
Identify what specifically is not working for you. Self-awareness is key. If your dream job is not what you hoped for, I encourage you to look inward first, and only then explore your concerns with the company. You are the only piece of this puzzle that you control, so focus on you first.
Questions to consider:
- What are my biggest issues, and can I address any on my own?
- Are my concerns a company issue, team issue, or an issue with a teammate or colleague?
- Was I running from my previous job when I took this job?
- Note: If your issues are harassment, discrimination, safety, or health, report them immediately. Do not stay in roles where these things are occurring.
Define your possible next steps. Now that you know what you want and how this company or role did not meet your expectations, you can define next steps, which could include:
- Leave immediately.
- Share your concerns and try to make it work.
- Stick around while you look for a new gig.
Questions to consider:
- How long have I been at this company? How will I speak to this experience on my resume if I leave immediately?
- Is there anything the company can say or do that would support a decision to stay?
- Do I need to find a new job before I leave my current position?
- Are there options within the organization that could be a better fit?
- Have I shared my concerns with the company? Would they be surprised to hear about them?
I believed that my passion for spas equated to owning a spa. When I thought more deeply about it, I realized what I truly enjoyed was sharing my favorite spa experiences with others.
Perhaps your dream job is really about your contribution versus a specific company. Or perhaps your dream job is about working for a specific company, and a company that’s close (in whatever way—prestige, size, money) is still not close enough. Use the experience you are in now to help you better define what happens next.
